What Women Really Want

Veronica had an interesting conversation with some of the other young women volunteers at the hospital.  One of them,a medical student in Qatar(Arab Muslim but not Qatari), shared some thoughts on marriage, namely that she is engaged, and that her marriage, like so many in this part of the world, is arranged. She told Veronica that she "likes her future husband" and looks forward to being married because she will be free of the restrictions of her parent's house.

 Two other young women, both in high school, also said they "can't wait to be married" because then they will be able to go more places and have their own schedules, unlike now where they can never go out unchaperoned and spend most of their time inside feeling very bored!  They are Muslim, from Egypt, but have grown up here. They are absolutely fascinated with the social life of American teens and youth  and question Veronica a lot to know if she lives just the way people do in the movies! As I mentioned in an earlier email, they wanted to know if Veronica had ever been on a date and where she went and how she meets boys.  Their response to all of this was,"We would be scared to talk to a 'stranger' and to go out with someone our parents didn't know." Marriage seems like a very safe place for them, especially since their parents arrange it.

Most women, of all ages, are in abiyas and veils.  Western women are advised to be covered as much as possible because they will be made to feel very uncomfortable if their knees are showing, or neckline too low, or shoulders exposed when out in public (except at a swimming pool or hotel beach). I witnessed one western woman, who was in a sundress on a 90 degree day, be stalked by an old man at the souk and surrounded by other men who glared at her until she put on a sweater! Although Paul told me that western women don't have to adhere to a dress code, my own experience and observation say otherwise.  Especially when a woman is alone. 

One elderly woman told us, at the women's association festival day, that she feels uncomfortable going out in public with her face uncovered.  She must wear a mask--"It's as if I can't breathe when I don't have on my burkha"---a leather  mask which covers the nose, brow, and cheekbones.