Filled With Gratitude

Filled With Gratitude

Thank you Carole (Albores) sister survivor for your comment on my blog—yes, the best thing about all of my experiences is that Paul and I are doing this together. I have had travel experiences in the past which were times of soul searching and personal quest, traveled with people I met along the way, but that experience pales to this because every event is shared on a meaningful level since it is shared with my life partner. After twenty four years of marriage, raising four children, a time of continental separation and the trauma of my cancer diagnosis, I see the strength of our marriage vows. It is so comforting to be here with him and to have our “baby” with us to share her innocence and affection.

Having just finished my cancer treatment, I live with the fear that any day it may recur.  Perhaps all survivors live with that as either an immobilizing force or as a driving force. I don’t think that any of us “forget about it”—do some of you live each year believing this may be the last? Do you try to be 100% for each child and for your spouse wanting to give them what you may not be able to give them in the future? God has graced me with not only another year, but a year in an exotic place with the love of my life.  How can I not wake each day with a heart full of gratitude? I believed for so long that I would not be gifted with this place with Paul, but I have.

It seems that Mia is too late to attend the American School of Doha, so I will be home schooling her for the duration of the school year.  Perhaps that is all part of the gift of being here.  I think she will always remember this special experience with her mother in this new, very foreign place. I want to enjoy this time with her as much as possible and for her to feel so loved.

The call to prayer five times a day is not only for Muslims.  It’s for me to stop and give praise and present my needs to God and remember the needs of others. No matter where I am, no matter what I am doing, I should stop.  I should never be too busy.

When I was in chemotherapy, it seemed impossible for me to enjoy any aspect of life because I was so physically sick.  As the effects of the medicine subsided, I began to feel so happy to be able to experiences the pleasures of my senses. I want to keep that freshness, to hold on to that happiness of being well enough to enjoy my senses. I want to take all that is offered to me and be filled with gratitude.