Language Barriers

Since I am a guest in Qatar, I should, out of respect to the culture, learn Arabic.  This is one of my goals, once I am done going to the hosspital three times a week. Learning a foreign language is always a humbling experience and makes one realize how difficult it is for others to learn one's own language. I am certain that many of the people who come here who are forced to communicate in English or Arabic, have had very little experience with either language.

I am impressed with those who can speak English, French and Arabic (Lebanese and Tunisians for example)
and how well many Arabs speak English. Certainly it would take me many years to achieve that level of proficiency in English.  And, I'm sure Hindi would be very difficult to learn, especially proper pronunciation.It is amazing how well people are functioning in a language other than their first.

However, there is a saying here which goes, "English was born in England, it lived in America, and it died in India." This would make sense to you if you consider the fact that the international language is English, and the common language here is English, and that all communication is in both Arabic and English, but really only a small number of the people have actually been taught proper English. Apparently this is even more true in India, as one might suspect given the limited English the huge Indian population speaks here in Qatar. Of course, India has vast differences among its population, and obviously some groups are much better educated than others. The Indian professionals here (engineers, doctors ,teachers, etc...)appear to speak better English than the thousands of Indian laborers who are here.

Since English is my mother tongue, one might think that I am at an advantage when speaking English.  This is only somewhat true because so many people don't understand me! This is a source of frustration when making phone calls to offices, talking to clerks at the hospital, shopping at the grocery store, speaking to the attendants at our compound, or directing a taxi driver. Of course this would be true in any foreign country and I should be grateful that the signs are in English!!!! And, as always, I am grateful for the fact that anyone attempts to speak in English. But, there is a type of English which seems to have evolved among the Indian population which they not only use, but also understand better. This new language is called "Hinglish"--an Arab friend of ours told us that when he studied in India, all of the classes were in English, but no one spoke it properly! (He, by the way, spoke excellent English).  He also said that the instructor told him that when writing papers not to "put the information in his own words, but rather to simply copy and paste!" Interesting.

On the other hand, when I lived in Germany, I came there not knowing the language at all, so I do know how lucky I am to have so much communication in English. And, I am also aware of how well many Arabs and  Europeans speak English.  As I gradually learned German, I was also aware of how awkward it was for me to speak, so I should be sympathetic to those who are functioning in a language other than their native one.  It takes a long time to be able to communicate on a sophisticated level and to come across as intelligent. 

And, I am impressed with those who speak French, English, and Arabic ( Lebanese and Tunisians for example) and with the large number of Arabs who speak excellent English. Certainly it would take me many years to achieve that level of proficiency in Arabic. And learning Hindi would be even more of a challenge!  It's all about tolerance and trying to overcome barriers, especially in communication.      

The Pearl and Gymnastics Class

The Pearl is a new area of Doha, still being developed, where the restaurants, hotels, and shops are made to mimic The Riviera.  The building is along the gulf and the avenue is lined with flowers, palm trees, restaurants, shops, and even a dock for yachts.  Right now, the area is fairly empty. We ate at an Italian Restaurant with Jimmy, Mia, and Veronica and took a brief walk along the water--the weather is getting very hot, so it is no longer pleasant to be outside. This is where one might see European sports cars parked along the street and women in abiyas carrying shopping bags from designer shops such as Hermes or Gucci. There seem to be more expats in this area and a less rigid dress code, also alcohol is served in the restaurants.

The pictures of Mia in gymnastics were taken at The Qatar Gymnastics Center, where Mia has been going twice a week for gymnastics. The children in the class vary in ability and age, but the coaches seem to do a good job of keeping them all challenged and happy. Mia has made friends with some of the girls (she especially likes an Egyptian girl who is next to her in line). The coach uses Arabic, English, and French when speaking to the children, depending on the nationality of the child. He is very dedicated and puts so much effort into each class. He seems to really like the children and has excellent rapport with them.They all appear very enthused about coming to class.

 There is a Qatari team which practices after Mia's class;they come every day for several hours and have Romanian and Russian coaches hired specifically to prepare therm for competition with other nations.  The Russian coaches have a very austere style and are very harsh in the way they speak to the gymnasts. I was told that when a Qatari has a child that shows talent in an area, the parents will hire the best teachers possible to teach their children.  So, it is likely that each child on the team has a private coach from Russia sponsored by a Qatari parent. I suppose this is a good job for a Russian gymnast since I'm sure the Qataris pay quite well.

Pictures of Mia's Gymnastics Class and The Pearl in Doha

Class Pose (Multi Age and Cultures)

Playing Games

Mia on the beam

Algierian Coach Noor and Iraqi Coach

Mia and Jimmy at The Pearl

Veronica, Mia, and Jimmy at The Pearl

The Call to Prayer

Five times a day, we hear the call to prayer, which is made by a male caller from ther mosque, calling the faithful to stop activity and pray. The call to pray can be heard everywhere, including shopping malls.  Men and women pray separately.  The women can go to a prayer room while the men go to the mosque, or a prayer room.  Some pray in public, but most go to a prayer room.  Many do not stop activity and seem to ignore the call to prayer in the same way that a Catholic might ingnore church bells for mass  on a Sunday morning. Some Muslims carry prayer beads with them, especially on the sabbath (Friday).  I have seen prayer rugs for sale in many places, and they are used on the sidewalk as well as at home or in a prayer room or mosque. Shoes are always removed before one enters a mosque or prayer room, so when one goes to the ladies room at a mall, next to the ladies room there is usually a prayer room for women with shoes lined up outside the door. The men's prayer room is next to the men's restroom at the mall, so it is unlikely that one would ever invade the private space of the opposite sex. Of course, small children go with the women.

One of the most spiritual moments I have ever experienced occured in Abu Dhabi as I awoke to the call to prayer before sunrise and looked out from Paul's bedroom window on the 17th floor to see the Muslim world slowly awake to that lonesome call.

At the same time, the effect of the call is less intense as I hear it more often.

I do miss the sound of church bells, and remember how beautiful it was to hear the chimes from the cathedral in Germany where I lived for one year, many years ago.

And, the chorus of birds is also uplifting as they sing in the early morning in nature's chapel.There are so many ways that God calls us to prayer.

More Pictures

Our Our Villa--Veronica and Mia and Amy (in julabiyas)

At The School

Jimmy, Paul, Amy, Mia at The Souk                                                     Paul holding puppy at The Souk

Veronica and Mia at The Iranian Restaurant

What Women Really Want

Veronica had an interesting conversation with some of the other young women volunteers at the hospital.  One of them,a medical student in Qatar(Arab Muslim but not Qatari), shared some thoughts on marriage, namely that she is engaged, and that her marriage, like so many in this part of the world, is arranged. She told Veronica that she "likes her future husband" and looks forward to being married because she will be free of the restrictions of her parent's house.

 Two other young women, both in high school, also said they "can't wait to be married" because then they will be able to go more places and have their own schedules, unlike now where they can never go out unchaperoned and spend most of their time inside feeling very bored!  They are Muslim, from Egypt, but have grown up here. They are absolutely fascinated with the social life of American teens and youth  and question Veronica a lot to know if she lives just the way people do in the movies! As I mentioned in an earlier email, they wanted to know if Veronica had ever been on a date and where she went and how she meets boys.  Their response to all of this was,"We would be scared to talk to a 'stranger' and to go out with someone our parents didn't know." Marriage seems like a very safe place for them, especially since their parents arrange it.

Most women, of all ages, are in abiyas and veils.  Western women are advised to be covered as much as possible because they will be made to feel very uncomfortable if their knees are showing, or neckline too low, or shoulders exposed when out in public (except at a swimming pool or hotel beach). I witnessed one western woman, who was in a sundress on a 90 degree day, be stalked by an old man at the souk and surrounded by other men who glared at her until she put on a sweater! Although Paul told me that western women don't have to adhere to a dress code, my own experience and observation say otherwise.  Especially when a woman is alone. 

One elderly woman told us, at the women's association festival day, that she feels uncomfortable going out in public with her face uncovered.  She must wear a mask--"It's as if I can't breathe when I don't have on my burkha"---a leather  mask which covers the nose, brow, and cheekbones.

Making Friends

All of us are making friends and experiencing the kindness of others. Mia has a little group of play mates at the compound.  They ring our bell and play with her on the grassy area in front of our door, or they go inside the indoor play area, or they meet her at the pool (they have their Filipino nannies while Mia has me to supervise her). The children are girls and boys of various ages, mainly from Lebanon. They all speak Arabic, but actually use English when playing, so it is good for Mia! Mia has also made friends at gymnastics class, which she attends twice a week.  There are about twenty children in the class, and the two coaches (both men, one fronm Iran and the other from Algiers) organize large group games before the group is split for skills practice. The children are very friendly to Mia and work very hard to sit next to her.  These children are from Lebanon, Egypt, Tunisia, and other middle eastern countries.  Interestingly enough, Mia is the only American in the class.

Jimmy and Veronica are here now.  Jimmy met someone his age (19) who lives in the compound, at the pool.  His name is Roman and he's from Russia; his mother is also Russian, but the father is from Lebanon. He has met with Jimmy a few times to play video games in the club house and outdoor sports.  Jimmy also met someone his age at the compound basketball court and another man in his 30's at the basketball court.  Both guys were so happy to finally have another "good" basketball player in the compound.  Strangely enough, the guy in his 30's (married with a two year old child) lived in Chicago.  His parents are from the UAE.

Veronica started doing volunteer work today at the hospital.  Two other volunteers that work with her, were raised here in Qatar, but are from Egypt. They were very friendly with her. They asked her many questions about America, including whether or not Veronica had ever been on a date! They were amazed to learn that Veronica had--"Just like in the movies" they exclaimed--and told Veronica that they do not date in their culture. Veronica really likes them and will be working with them all week .More to come on that!

I have met so many people and feel there are many opportunities for developing friendships. I have met other American and European expats through my neighbor, Mary, who is an American. She invited me for a luncheon and a book swap.  Her friends are very interesting and intelligent. I'v also met some women through the "morning expat coffee group" at Villagio Mall on Wednesday mornings (my neighbor Mary also took me to this group), and other women through my cancer support group.  I have met a variety of Arabic and Muslim moms at Mia's gymnastics class and at the park and indoor playground. I (and Mia) recently were invited to tea by Paul's boss's wife, who is originally from Holland. I have met some Indian women at my yoga class (which takes place at an Indian school near here), and even chatted with the Filipino nannies in the compound (there are ten live-in nannies in this compound). Because I go to the oncology hospital three times a week for my lymphodema, I have gotten to know my physical therapist and massage therapist--the former is from Tunisea and the latter is from Hungary. The receptionist at the hospital (who is actually a man who wears a dish dash and head covering) has been very helpful and friendly.  He was born and raised here, but is actually from Yemen. He helped Veronica get set up at the volunteer office and has offered to take Jimmy to see the sites in Doha and go for coffee with his friends (as we see so many Arab men in large groups in dish dash at the coffee shops). And, I met the Qatari women at the women's event--there is yet another one scheduled this month! So, there are many encounters and I feel I would betray those who have been so kind to me if I were to say anything negative about the people here. I have been treated with respect by both Arab women and Arab men, and have been shown hospitality by not only expat Americans, but also Brits and Europeans and people of various nationalities. Women who are veiled have given me smiling eyes and shown kindness and gentleness as have many Arab men who have often given me a seat in a waiting room or gestured for me to go ahead of them in line. Of course there are always some bad experiences, but it would be so anywhere.  In general, I find that most peole want to bridge the gap of misunderstanding that has created so many problems over the centuries.  I only wish I had more time to pursue friendships. Perhaps when I am done with my hospital care.

Paul, like most men who work in upper level poitions here, has met many people through his work.  He works with people from all over the world and seems to get along well with everyone. It appears that people make a big effort to be especially polite and respectful and the work environment is very pleasant, despite the fact that good jobs are not always secure. The level of courtesy and most excellent manners is very apparent. People use very gentle tones when speaking to each other and allow time to observe rules of etiquette.

The other day, at the Souk, one of the shop keepers invited us to sit down and have some tea.  This is not unusual.  People expect to be treated respectfully.  This has been MY EXPERIENCE.